


Jeweled Moments

by QuillMind



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alone, Angst, Desert, Forests, Gen, Introspection, Reflection, Self-Sacrifice, Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7909240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillMind/pseuds/QuillMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of introspective scenes from TFA, further expanded upon from certain characters' POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sandstone

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure: I was never a Star Wars fan. I appreciated it enough from a pop culture standpoint, but never cared about it like many do. TFA, though, was awesome to me, and it got me thinking about the experiences and feelings that the characters might be going through at certain scenes, so I thought I'd try my hand at these shorts. 
> 
> Please note that I haven't read any novelizations or guides, so beyond some reading of the Wiki, I'm strictly going by my memory of the film and my own imagination.

Jakku was a poor place to call home, but Rey did just that. 

Not out of choice, really--if this were not the planet where her family had left her, she would have left the desert rock years ago.  There was very little the beige mass could boast in having a natural abundance of, besides sand.  If you weren't a species that possessed nictitating membranes, you were sure to own at least a few pairs of goggles or other eye protection.  Any that foolishly thought they could do without sooner or later suffered corneal abrasions or, in worst cases, blindness.  Magnite and bezorite mines existed, and there were pockets of kesium gas here and there, but their yields were unreliable, and the lack of proper mining equipment made the work quite dangerous. 

So it was only natural that Rey would become a scavenger. 

Day in, day out, she would scour downed shipwrecks for usable parts, eager to climb into the metal skeletons as much for shelter from the scorching heat and light as for the day's food portions, or items she could trade for whatever she needed.  Her speeder was a (dusty) shining example of her efforts, put together after months of scrounging, trading, and defending from greedy bandits. 

The food that Rey received from Unkar Plutt had a decent amount of nutrients and calories, but clearly taste and appearance were never a consideration when the manufacturer came up with the bland, green rations.  Although Rey didn't really mind about surviving on the ration portions and grainy water loaves--she couldn't remember eating anything else, so she had no frame of reference on flavour, aside from whether something was spoiled or inedible to her human self.  She had convinced herself it was better to live in ignorance in this respect, otherwise she would just have another unreachable thing to pine for. 

It did feel like a sick joke sometimes that the blister-packaged rations were among the only bits of green that Rey ever saw.  Jakku was no place for colours.  Here there was only the beige of the sand that covered and beat texture and paint away from everything during storms until it was all the same worn, scratched surface.  The linens that Rey wore had been salvaged from a late vendor's tent curtains.  Once upon a time, they might have been white.  When a planet-hopping merchant had dropped by with some crimson paint among his wares, Rey had made the rare impulsive and impractical decision to buy it from him and coat her speeder with it.  Even though it would be temporary and the sand would inevitably scrape away the colour to reveal the plain, grey metal body again, the rich red of the paint would be seared into Rey's memory forever. 

Even the water of Jakku was hostile.  The mineral deposits by all natural sources imparted a metallic taste on the water, and on most occasions Rey would taste grit in her mouth that the filters failed to catch.  For bathing the water was not filtered as much, which left it murky and tan-coloured.  Rey might have forgone bathing altogether as it was expensive and the instant you stepped out of the tub, sand and dust would blow by and stick to you again; but for the sake of her hygiene and health, she was forced to comply. 

There was no friendliness--everyone was out for themselves, and theft, cheating and fighting were all too common occurrences.  Whenever a scrap broke out, no one helped anyone unless they had some ulterior motive, and when it became clear who was the loser, the more observant ones instantly snuck by to claim the unconscious victim's belongings as their own.  Taking your eye off of your possessions even for a minute meant they were as good as gone.  Rey had learned these lessons the hard way--the only way on Jakku--very early on. 

The nights were lonely, but they were still preferable to thieves sneaking into your home.  It would become quite cold, but it was the one time when Rey had a view of the stars, so she kept a warm blanket around just for these times.  The beautiful dark blue night sky would draw her in while the billions of twinkling stars each promised endless adventures and mysteries, beckoning her to come and experience them. 

She wished she could.  Night after night she dreamed about piloting a ship through the galaxy and discovering new worlds, ones that weren't populated with only selfish, greedy scavengers, gnashing scorpions, and sinking sand pits.  Ones where vegetation was not so rare that it would make her eyes practically bulge out of her head when she found them, like the tiny spinebarrel flower she kept in her home, and water was not so precious that she had to force herself to never cry to prevent dehydration. 

But in the end she would always turn down the call of the stars and wake up again for another day of picking up scraps from the fallen Empire's relics, muffling herself in layers to prevent her skin from burning and return to the hollowed out AT-AT wreckage in the evening to scratch another mark on the wall. 

She couldn't tell which was a more troubling thought to dwell on--the fact that there were so many scratches, or that there was still plenty more empty space for her to fill up. 


	2. Emerald

Rey had already seen so many beautiful things, experienced so many heart-stopping things on this day.  She did not expect that there would be anything that could top the thrill of piloting a ship--the Millennium Falcon, no less--and departing Jakku, flying into space, swimming through the sea of stars. 

How wrong she had been. 

Takodana brimmed with colours that were rarities in her life, shining brightly in the blackness of the galaxy with blues and greens.  As the ship passed through the atmosphere and sailed past the hills thick with vegetation and abundant lakes and rivers, her heart welled with something she couldn't articulate, and she uttered, "I didn't know there was this much green in the whole galaxy."  She fervently wished that this was not some elaborate and cruel dream that she would wake up from. 

The landing gear had barely settled onto the ground before she'd run out to breathe the air and see the new world.  The climate of Takodana was humid and heavy with life, a stark contrast to the naked and scorched deserts of Jakku.  Forest mist tickled Rey's nose and she almost wanted to sneeze, giggling at the puzzling sensation.  She could not see flat terrain for miles ahead here; instead, her view was obscured by rising mountains and dipping valleys, their outlines roughened by tall trees that packed every bit of space available.  A giant pool of water that was more than a thousand times the size of any drinking trough she'd seen--a 'lake,' the books called them--sprawled before her, its shimmering, silver surface dancing from the breeze that fluttered over it. 

Her legs were moving before she'd realized it. 

She nearly lost her balance as she stomped through the wet mud, shoes sticking to the bottom and holding onto her with a sucking grip.  But her wide-eyed wonder won out with determined strength, and she splashed into the lake with childlike delight, finally collapsing into the water and spluttering for air, shocked by the weight of her now wet clothing and laughing all the while.  Even as she was pulled under, unfamiliar with the concept of sinking in anything deeper than bathwater, she remained oblivious to the danger until she was feeling the constriction around her lungs, spitting glassy bubbles of precious air up into the murky, liquid world. 

Strong arms shot through the surface and grabbed ahold of Rey, pulling her back up through the transparent layer.  She shook her head, sending sparkling ribbons everywhere, and gasped elatedly, gulping in air as though for the first time. 

"Hey!  You all right?  Damn, be more careful, would you?" 

Rey swiped the cascading water out of her eyes several times as Han Solo held her up in his arms.  He was also soaking wet, but paid that no mind and regarded her with the piercing intensity of a concerned parent.  Grunting, he trudged through the lake back to shore, carrying her.  Rey could not remember ever being held.  Any time she had been touched on Jakku, it was from a sneaky swipe at her belongings, a rude bump to get her out of a queue, or the start of a petty squabble, one of hundreds that happened every day.  But Han carried her with no malicious intent or ulterior motive, looking annoyed only at being worried about her, even though he was doing his best to hide it.    

Once the water was knee-deep, Han set her down again.  Rey felt the pangs of a long-shelfed yearning for paternal affection, but not wanting to bring down the moment with something so serious, her face broke out into a raw grin and she giggled into the veteran smuggler's face, leaving him at a loss for words. 

"Sorry, I'm sorry--it's just so amazing!" she cried out, splashing onto the shore again, dashing past Chewbacca, Finn and BB-8 who looked on in surprise.  She couldn't stop smiling as she ran into the forest, feeling the slightly spongy thickness of the black soil and the bumpy roots beneath, brushing by stringy ferns and branches. 

Her feet finally slowed as she entered a low clearing, and spun herself around as she looked skyward.  Ancient trees stretched taller than any communication relay towers on Jakku.  The millions of leaves that covered the sprawling arms were so brightly green, they made the old bottles she'd once gathered for meager credits and the rations she got from Unkar Plutt seem as drab as mold.  The natural canopy of the branches cast rays of sunshine through to the ground, and what Rey initially thought was dust dancing in the light was in fact mist.  _Flying water!_ Rey found it to be wonderful. 

She became still and frowned as soft, high-pitched sounds entered her ears--bird songs.  So much more pleasant than the growls of Bezoritehide scrappers and Happabores' bellows. 

Her eyes became blurry and she brought up her arm to rub them, noticing how she was still dripping from the lake.  Holding her hands up to the light, she watched the droplets trickle to her fingertips like liquid diamonds before plopping onto the moss below.  The amount of water that was on her right now would have cost a significant amount back home on the desert planet. 

A little whirring cut through the tweets and insect chirps; BB-8 came near, tilting its domed head at Rey and beeping a question with equal parts curiosity and concern. 

Rey crouched down to speak to the astromech droid.  "I know, I didn't mean to make everyone worry," she apologized, still high on being in her surroundings.  "It's the complete opposite of Jakku."  Looking at the ground, she saw twigs, rocks, tiny beetles and sprigs of flowers--weeds, in fact, but to her they were lovely. 

She took as much time as possible to absorb this lush, emerald world, committing every sight, sound, smell, feel and taste to her memory.  This place would be kept fresh and pristine for her to visit in her mind when she was back home on Jakku again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's the main reason I started this fic--in the movie, when the crew arrive on Takodana, I'd wished that there were a few more scenes in which Rey takes the time to explore the green world, seeing she doesn't remember anything other than a hostile desert. She is rather childish here, but it's just to emphasize how overwhelmed and fascinated she is with the new planet.


	3. Ruby

Red.          

Red is the colour of rage.  Passion.  Fire.  Violence.  Blood.  It demands attention and commands power.  It is not so surprising, then, that it became the de facto colour of choice for the Sith's lightsabers. 

Ben Solo had not thought he would ever wield a red lightsaber.  Jedi Knights adhered to the other colours, most popularly green or blue, as they denoted nature, balance, acceptance, earth and water.  When he was young, he had always assumed he would craft his own lightsaber in one of those colours.  But that was before the nightmares began. 

At first they were more confusing than frightening, being so far away and beyond his understanding, like an object on the horizon of a desert landscape, warped by heatwaves.  It wasn't long, however, before the dreams came into focus--along with the physical pain that accompanied them. 

Ben would frequently wake up moaning, his covers kicked onto the floor from him thrashing around in his sleep.  Even when awake, he wasn't free from the nightmares--the spikes of agony lingered in his head for hours, and the spaces under his eyes became darker as rest evaded him.  Meditation helped, but did not completely solve the problem; he became sullen and snappish with the other padawans, and drew questioning looks by being more than a little aggressive during training sessions. 

As it happened, he wasn't the only one that had seen these nightmares.  Harrowing visions of destruction, slaughter, and billions of lives being snuffed out like stars swallowed into black holes. 

"You've seen them, haven't you, Ben?"  There was an undercurrent of sorrow to Master Luke's voice--unusual, as normally he maintained a seemingly unbreakable aura of serenity. 

The admission practically came out as a sob.  "Yes, master."  To know that someone else understood what he was going through was a piece of salvation in itself. 

There was no one else around in this secluded area of the Jedi temple.  Master and student's voices echoed off of the walls as if they had become their own separate beings.  "Do you understand what they mean?" Luke asked softly. 

Air was pushed and pulled harshly through clenched teeth like it was trying to be torn apart.  "No," Ben ground out, "not entirely."  He held his palm against his face and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself.  He was a Jedi, he was supposed to be rational, collected...  But the visions he was seeing made him anything but.  "All I know is that... _that one_ has a vast and terrible power, and he will stop at nothing to get what he wants." 

"Yes.  He will come for us...  And this temple, and all its students will fall." 

Ben's dark eyes bulged.  "No!" he shouted, panic bubbling within his chest.  "We can't let that happen!" 

Luke shook his head, looking helpless for the first time that Ben had seen.  Master Luke had never looked helpless.  The situation truly was dire.

"It's inevitable," Luke murmured.  "There is only limited time left here.  We cannot stop the destruction of this place, but that doesn't mean everything will end here." 

Strong brows knit together in confusion as Ben stared at Luke.  When he looked that way, he was the spitting image of his father.  "What do you mean?" 

The Master turned so that his back was to the setting sun and he shielded his padawan from the warm rays.  His face was shadowed and difficult to make out. 

"You and I both know that his ultimate goal is to get _her_.  She will become so powerful, but right now... she's far too young." 

"I won't let him!" 

Luke didn't reproach his student's outburst--instead it brought a smirk to his lips.  That fierce spirit, that firebrand soul, was from his mother. 

"He will turn her into his own puppet--break that which makes her who we know her to be, and leave a dark, soulless monster in her place.  Unless we do something about it." 

"What do you have in mind, Master?" 

"He won't search for her if he thinks she's dead.  If we leave her somewhere...  Somewhere so far away that few would even know about it...  She could live anonymously, in safety, at least until she comes of age." 

"He wouldn't be convinced with that alone.  I've seen it.  He'd look for her." 

"Unless we meet fire with fire.  Unless he's thoroughly distracted with a substitute." 

A lump formed in Ben's throat like lead.  His breath stilled, but his heart banged furiously like a war drum. 

"Ben."  Luke said the name with weariness and love.  "I know that you have always had difficulty with your training.  I know that you don't agree with a lot of the ways of the Jedi.  It's all right, I'm not saying it's a failure on your part.  It used to be that there was always the Jedi and the Sith, the light and dark side of the Force, but lately I've come to think that perhaps being able to ride the line between both worlds is the most powerful warrior of all.  You may have the fury and ambition that Siths favour, but underneath it your soul is clean and bright and kind.  This is the most evident wherever _she_ is concerned." 

Ben averted his gaze--he was embarrassed at being so easily read.

"I know she is important to you.  And you've seen the role she will play in the future.  Now the question is: are you willing to play the longest, cruelest con there ever was in order to keep her--and the galaxy--safe?" 

He slowed down to let his padawan absorb the information.  He hated having to lay this on such a young child, his _nephew_ ; if there were any other option, he would have taken it in a heartbeat. 

The answer came much faster than he anticipated.  "Yes, Master." 

Luke was unsure if it was emotion or merely his age that caused the wrenched sensation in his chest.  "This is not just playing at being a monster." 

"I know." 

"Swearing allegiance and wearing the costume will not be enough.  He will need to see you are on the dark side through and through." 

"I know." 

"You will be made to commit terrible deeds.  Quite likely on people you know or even care about.  In order to convince him, you must become a monster.  No one else must know the truth; I will go into exile, and anyone who ever knew you will see you as a traitor and an enemy.  You will hurt--immensely."  

"But she--and the future--won't be.  So it is okay.  I will do it.  For them, I will succeed." 

Luke gave the tiniest nod.  Snoke might be the one ordering Ben to act on his behalf, but he knew deep down that it would always be _him_ that sent his nephew and first apprentice to become a pawn of the dark side.  He would be just as responsible for the horrors to come as Ben would be. 

"Good.  I've already found a suitable planet for Rey.  Arrangements have been made with a Crolute to watch over her from a distance." 

_"A Crolute?"_ Ben said in disgust, "can he even be trusted?" 

"He can be trusted to be true to his nature so long as his pockets are filled with credits.  And that's the last I will ever tell you about her." 

****

So many years passed.  The boy Ben was killed to become the man Kylo Ren.  He had immersed himself in his role and piled on so many layers of atrocities that sometimes he felt it as a physical weight.  Supreme Leader Snoke, as far as Kylo Ren could tell, trusted him to be a devoted member of the dark side and the First Order.  Most of the time, even he himself could believe it. 

He could and did cut down people as easily as straw dolls, possessed great command over the Force, looking cold and utterly unmoved as he did.  Paradoxically, inside he was a raging fire, screaming silently like a ship whose hull was ready to burst at any moment.  The nightmares had not ceased, and the torment on his soul only grew further like a twisted weed, sinking its parasitic roots into him and leeching out whatever might be left. 

Considering this, his lightsaber, fueled by a cracked kyber crystal very accurately reflected its owner.  Volatile and dangerous, and on the edge of self-destruction.  Together, they never failed to strike terror into whoever saw them, and never had this been more important than when he, trudging through the emerald woods of Takodana, found a scrappy, panicky scavenger girl fumbling with a blaster pistol. 

The second she saw him and the sparking ruby weapon, she fired, but her fear made her a terrible shot, and even if he hadn't deflected the blasts, they would have managed minor flesh wounds at best. 

A quick wave and he locked her in place, noting her teeth gritting as she desperately fought to break free. 

He knew exactly who she was. 

Were he free to feel true, he would have been relieved, elated to see that she was alive and well.  She was dirty and sweaty, wearing faded rags for clothes, and her frame was lean, but lined with wiry strength.  Despite being alone, she had survived, and now fate had brought her back to the center stage of the galaxy, where only more trials awaited her--and him. 

"The girl I've heard so much about." 

_Red draws attention.  Red is the most visible colour.  Eyes will be on you, not her._

He walked past her, leaves and mulch rustling on the forest floor, stopping a few feet behind her.  He could clearly hear the shallow, terrified gasps of her breath. 

_Heroes cannot be heroes without a monster.  Be the monster.  Be the thing of fire and blood and nightmares._

The lightsaber thundered by her neck.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, okay, this was/is my theory for the overall plot of the sequel films. If Kylo Ren was simply "seduced to the dark side" the same as Anakin, that would be too simple and samey, I thought, so I started to get this idea of the "long con/deep undercover"-ish thing being the reason for KR going down the path he did (though when I shared this idea with my friends, they said I was giving the franchise too much credit to think this would be a viable theory). :( 
> 
> For the record, I wish/don't think Ben and Rey are relatives, as, again, that would be so samey and boring if it turns out to be the case.


End file.
